Don't come & go , like the others.

Hello readers! In another 1days i'll be off to beijing for 7 days.

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Didn't blog yesterday due to lack of inspiration & nothing much to post eventually. Have been staying @ home the whole day playing computer yesterday . Slept around 5am+ , wana watch finish my dvd asap, so i can move on to the next one ^^v. Woke up @ 1pm + , went to prepared & then bus to ws to meet liling. Had mac for lunch then went to shop around ws , brought 3 pierce of shirts from cotton on & one bag from inks ! Ahahahaha, then bus to downtown to help mum buy some things, liling got herself a pair of sandals @ downtown too, she've been craving for that sandal like super long ago. After that , walk back home. Reached home, have a arguement with mummy. Got nothing much to do so decided to play blackshot, immm noob. :( k whatever, practice makes perfect ^^v.

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Im dying to see him before going to beijing, watch him from far i also happy lah ~ Hmm... shall go stalk him tomorrow after reporting + visit my grandma. ^^ Hope daddy's gona send me there so i can save my cab $$ ! :\:\

@11.45pm.

You're the first person that i think of when i wakes up.

Hello readers! I srsly hope your face with your sweet smile would stop appearing on my mind.

" I never thought that i loved you so much "

Force myself to sleep around 4am, the drama im watching is really getting interesting that i can't bear to sleep :\ Hiakhiak. Woke up @ 11am, Oh dear im late, was suppose to reach amk @ 11. Went to get prepare asap then cab over to amk to meet xiaopang, went to his house to wait for him get prepare & then went to random blk slack for alittle while. Bus over to serangoon , nex mall to meet up with shaobin , gary , alan & co. Get to know gary's girlfriend, idk how spell her name. :\ she's so social & sweet. Can't stop having h2h talk with her. Hehehe. The guys was at arcade, and so went to walk around with gary's girlf. After that, headed to serangoon's ktv. Around 6pm+ , train to kovan pool, before going to play pool, the guys spend so much time on arcade again -.- k nvm, h2h talk with gary's girlf , too devoted till skip playing pool :\ Around 8pm+, the rest cab home, left xiaopang,gary, gary girlf & myself. Went to have dinner then headed to eat tau hui because gary's girlf is craving for it so badly. Haha, when she ate her tau hui she can't stop smiling. Hehehhe. Sat down talk & etc , hahaha interesting topics. Chitchat until 10pm+ & it suddenly rains so heavily. So hurried cab home. Hsh. Special thanks to xiaopang , gary & gary girlf for the awesome day. :) I really laugh alot today thanks to them. ♥♥

I'm learning to let go after day by day. And i finally realise , being able to spend that 49days with you is already worth it. :) I still thinks about you thou, but im believe your face & those times with you will stop appearing on my mind one day.

Song lyrics simplys express the feeling that i could never express out.

@11.11pm - i wana be happy, so he must be happy.

Get well soon.

Hello readers! I wana blast her teeth out of her mouth.

" I lost to myself in my own game "
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Slept around 5am, watching drama. Woke up @ 12pm+ , went to get prepare & stuff. Went down to meet kristysanrio with sister. Slack @ 230 while waiting for jeremychang to come down. Not long, jeremychang came, continue slacking for awhile deciding where to go :\ After deciding, bus to whitesand & train to bugis. Meet up with nicole & damien. Went to bugis street to shop, brought one top. After that headed to have steamboat since jeremychang insist of having it :):) And i spend my last $20 on steamboat ~ Slowly eat, chitchat & joke around. Around 8pm+ , separated with co & accompany sist to topshop to buy her top & then train home. Reached ws , saw reuben & chatted for awhile then bus home. Hsh. I can't get him out of my mind i swear, even when im eating i thinks of him. Fuck. k bai, im mad angry now. I can't stand it, i hate it. Fuck , i feel like screaming @ your face. :@

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I tried, i really did tried not to think about you & forget abt you. But i really can't do it. Every time i wake up, first thing i think of is you, Even when im eating, bathing & doing other stuffs. I just can't stop thinking of you. I keep reminding myself about those horrible words you said to me, but i srsly can't bring myself to hate you. Tell me what to do..

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@11.07pm.

Please be happy.

Hello readers! I'm worried, my heart is aching.

"It hurts to know that he'll never remember the things you'll never forget."

Slept around 3am +, Was chatting with shunwei on phone before conferencing with xiaopang & shaobing. Like a funny only the way they talk (hehehe) After hanging up, texting with shaobing till he fall asleep :@:@. Watch dvd for alittle while & felt super sleepy and fall asleep. Woke up around 12pm then nua on bed for alittle while & fall asleep again -_- Woke up @ 3pm + & dad isn't free to fetch me to bedok. So obviously if i still don't hurry up im gona be late for reporting. So tried to rush and get ready asap. Mum is worried that i will be late so she helped me pay for cab fare. Cab to bedok and met jiahong otw to reporting, went reporting with him then bus home with him. Reached home, computer all the way. K bai, im gona look thru all my previous post in the past.

Oh dear.... im feeling super heartache uh. His upset & yet i can't do anything. I really wana be there for him now.

@9.27pm.

The perfect love is silent melody.

Hello readers! I can't stand two-headed kind of character, esp when i thought they're the true one.

"It's really tough to pretend not to love someone when you still do."

Slept around 3am + after hanging up xiaopang's call. Was chitchatting with him on phone. Woke up @ 10am + went to prepare etc then train to paya lebar , took cab to lynn's house. Reached her house, h2h talk & etc. Some incident happen , left her hse straight after she shower. Bus to kpool, played few rounds of pool. Then look @ lynn use computer etc. Recieve wenjun's text & hurried cab to tamp his hse to meet him. Slack2 @ his hse as usual. Some cockup things happen again, like always sia recently. Around 9pm + , drop lynn @ tamp inter then cab home. Hsh. & ohya, yesterday hsh whole day after reporting ^^v.

Wow, 49 days of luv, or should i say suffering ? Hiakhiak. I finally gave up loving him because no point having him but not his heart. Since he have already have someone he really wants then i shall srsly just let it go uh + all those harsh words he said to was really horrible. But nevermind, since im gona let it go. Cannot be lover, be friends. Cannot be friends, be enermie hor? :):) Plus , all those sweet stuff he once mentioned to me was all craps, he finally told me the true. Oh dear, im so navie :( Hahahaha ! Wtf, fuck myself. But still i'll never forget those awesome times spent with him althought it's nonsense+craps to him because those time really was superduper awesome! (5th,7th,10th,22th) How i wish time could just rewind & pause @ those times, but hahahaha it's never gona happen. So yeah, hearts dead but i still gona let my heart guide him silently. Praying for him to be happy & also be safe. :) All the best sweet, goodluck to you & her. Argh, srsly hate myself when i say things that i don't wana say. -_- You happy = I happy ! So why not, just let it go. HAHAAHAHA, Omfg i just feel like dying. Why didn't i just listern to Luv's advice from the starting :(:( Whatever lah, Fuck love.


If i say i don't and wont love you anymore, im just lying.

This song really express what im feeling.

@11.00pm

Without reason, I just love you.

Hello readers! True love doesn't strive for repayment.

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" Being strong is just a pretence. "

Haven't been updating blog for the past two days, due to lack of inspiration and don't have the mood to do so. So many cockup things happen the past two days, Have been crying non-stop. I tried to stay strong but i just couldn't hold back my tears and my tears just flow down like watertap. I won't give up, i swear i won't give up. Rotting @ home for today. The past two days have been going to wenjun's hse. :) Yesterday, Kristy & gerald came up my hse, had h2h talks & etc. Cheerup kristysanrio ! :) Imm gona emo like a fucker already, watch some teevee use some tissue hear some emo songs. K bai.

" I love you dearest, thanks for everything. "
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In this period of time when im down, i know this really wonderful dearest of mine, Lynniie Teo. I know her on the 22th jan, thru wenjun. She've big beautiful eyes & she's a really sweet & caring girl. She've been lending me her ears & giving me encouragement whenever i'm feeling down. It's the 3rd day i've know her yet it seems to be a year that i've know her. Dearest, i just wana say, thanks for everything, thanks for standing on my side. Cya tomorrow dearest. Luvyou.
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@4.07pm.

Blessed.

Hello readers! Imm happygal94 for that moment.

" This is gona accompany me everynight before i sleep. "

First thing first, i srsly need to apologise to Shaun wong for not being able to attend his birthday celebration with co. Imm super sorry about it. Had fun today i swear. Sweet post for today, ending with a First gift from him picture ! ♥♥


I don't need your luv in return, as long as you're happy and i'll be happy too despite how much i've suffer.

@10.24pm.

PaperHeart.

Hello readers! Rot at home once again, really mad boring i tell you.

" Awesome moment spent with you, appears on my mind every single sec. "
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Last night, play auditionsea, got myself a sweet loving couple, x3Question on the 19012011. (k). Good + kind soul like me, help wenjun level two time , got two awesome rewards from him (Y)(Y). Playing audition half way, whole leg started to ache like crazy. So hurried off computer & went to lie on bed, but the ache makes me couldn't fall asleep. Manage to fall asleep after that, woke up @ 12pm + by my maid. Went to shower then brother brought his girlfriend,tammy home. Had lunch with tammy, chitchat while my brother go shower. After lunch, auditionsea alittle while then went to watch drama. And i painted new nails colour again, silver nail polish! Im having bad tummy cramp now, mad pain. :@ K baibai, im gona audition again ltr. I miss him.

Day 14 - All about your family

My family has a average income, My family has Father, Mother , Younger brother, Youngster sister and my maid. I includ my maid as a part of our family because she've been staying with us since im in primary school, so it's like a total 10 years already. My father is not those really open-minded kind of thinking & his super protective. My mum is a very easy-going person, (in the past, She's super open-minded. dk why now she have the same thinking like my dad). My both youngser siblings are a cute ass but also sometime they're really a annoying fucker. My maid throw tempers when she is in a bad mood, but when she's in a good mood i really luv her. :\

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@6.42pm

I wish i can stop at the perfect moment.

hello readers! Today was a horrible day for me.

" Can i really let you go this time round ? "
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Woke up @ 9am+ , dad sent me to bedok hq to report. Hsh, dvd for awhile then went to jeremychang's house to meet kristysanrio & jeremychang. Slack2, suddenly couldn't hold back my tears & just let it flow down after holding it back for a certain period. Around 1pm+ , jeremychang went off. H2h talk with kristysanrio & felt so much better. Waited for kristysanrio to bath & stuff , cab over to wenjun's house. Waited for him like hours outside his house. Thanks kristysanrio for accompanying me. While waiting, tears just flow down again like water tap. Kristysanrio didn't stop cheering me up! (Y) Thanks love. Not long , wenjun came. Went in his house to slack awhile , kristysanrio went off after that i think, couldn't remember. Was feeling super down & shag. Slack2, around 7.30pm+ cab to tamp lan, auditionsea with wenjun like a funny. Hehehe, around 8pm+ cab home. Hsh , bathe , teevee now posting. Have to help that stupid wenjun train his auditionsea account ~ :D:D I really wish i can pause time @ that perfect moment, cause i wouldn't know when the next perfect moment gona happen again.
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Kristysanrio, Thanks luv for being there for me in the afternoon. I wasn't really myself but i still heard & remember every single things you said to me, (heartmelted). Luvyou.

@10.14pm.

Would you like you, if you met you ?

Hello readers ! Short post for today because i don't have anything to blog anyway.

" Waiting is better than saying goodbye. Not loving you'll be the greatest pain. "

Slept @ 4am , woke up @ 3.30pm. Had lunch & stuff, computer all the way till now. Sister gave me the inspiration to change my entire blogskin instead of the background only. Had no idea what blogskin to change into So, had sister blogskins code for help & it's about the same as her but not exactly the same, change some colour codes & stuff. Thanks Liling Happypill (Y) Nothing to post already, Come back ltr if i've more things to post. Stay tune. xxx

I turned on my computer and listen to your song. Oh God...your melody makes my heart melt. A word to explain I cannot find.

@5.19pm

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Edited :\

" I miss him, so badly. "

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Omfg, My shoulder is aching like fuck. Busy editing blogskin again & again & finally im done with it. Also finally done with my link's. Wanted to arrange & remove dead link since 12345 months ago but end up gave up half way cause too lazy. Finally im done with it & im super proud of myself, (hehehe). K imm gona have my dinner & fb already ! I wana go far east to shop again soon !!!!!

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@6.45pm.

Jealousy.

Hello readers! It's the 4th day im not see-ing him, im dying.

" I don't think you'll ever want to love me "

Woke up @ 10.50am + by my mum. Went to hurry bathe & get prepare. Dad send me to bedok hq to report. After reporting went to paya lebar with parents to get some winter wear for beijing's trip. ^^v. After that, headed to Tamp One. Had our late lunch first then headed to get more winter cloths, Mum brought me three long sleeve for me ^^v. Headed home after that. Hsh, fb and tumblr looking for pictures. Ah, feeling super upset now, suppose to meet him tomorrow but he couldn't make it as his not free. He asked me out today but im too lazy & too tired to go out & mum doesn't allow too cause she claim i've been going out like everyday which is Nonsense -_-. Will be meeting him on thursday after my reporting, Excited lah. Have been tearing everynight just because i miss him :\ Hahahaha, i wana go schooooooooooooooool :(:( Im so bored. & I srsly hope my april intake wouldn't be unsuccessful or else im gona waste one year. k bai.

A great love, its when you shed tears for him but you still care for him. It's when he ignored you but you still long for him. Its when he starts loving another and yet you manage to smile and courage to say " Im happy for you "

Ending my post with a picture that i think it's funny. & i find it so true. HAHA.

@6.54pm.

Sweetheart.

Hello readers! I miss him so much.

Didn't update yesterday(16/01), was feeling really tired after coming back home from Anna Sissydar sweet 15th advance celebration @ Changi SAF. Sweet & short form about what happen yesterday.

" You're an ass, But i love you anyway "

• Woke up @ 11am+ by sister, was told to hurry up & rush to ws.
• Reached ws, meet up with Clement,Zhizheng & Ernie
• Bus over to Shanqian hse.
• They mahjong, Sist & me was going up & down the house to slack.
• Around 5pm+ , bus over to Changi SAF to Anna's party.
• Walk around with sister & then sister went off & I wana be alone @ the beach.
• Ston @ the beach, sitting on the rock stone for like 1hour, having my earpiece on, Tears just drip while i think of him.
• After that, Dad came to fetch sist & brother home.
• Slack with Darren & co. PhotoSpam (Pictures @ http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?aid=266003&id=679860734 )
• Around 10pm+ , Kup cab with darren & nigel. Alighted first ! :)
• Hsh around 10.45pm , bathe , teevee & toh @ 2.30am.

- - -

" i miss you & i really dk what to do abt it. "

Today(17/01), Having serious bad headache that i couldn't even get myself out of the bed. Offically awake @ 3pm. Had lunch & then washup. Currently now posting, Not going to be going out today ^^v, But idk what should i do @ home, like a sian. Tsktsk. Im gona rest on bed & Take a short nap. Tomorrow shopping with mummy @ Tamp after my reporting, to get my winter cloths for beijing trip in two weeks time. My black hair colour is fading & it isn't that black as what it was before, Hopefully I.O won't notice it & ask me to dye it black again ah! Haha.

I miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you x10000000. :'( It's the third day not see-ing you and it felt like a year. Meet me soon, sweetheart.

@4.54pm.

Before it begans.

" Song lyrics can easily describe all your feelings. "

Hello readers ! Throw aways those memories, Start afresh.

Slept @ 4am sharp, Hahaha. Woke up @ 1pm , decided to accompany sist to tamp, the plans keep changing -_-, went to bathe & prepare. Walk over to 230 meet junhan & reuben. Then bus to tamp, walk around cs & tm. Got alot stuffs :):) then cab over to house area slack2 for alittle while, hsh around 7pm +. I feel so kena bastard that kind of feeling i swear, Both suppose to be bff isn't who they're anymore. Fuck shits, k nvm. I don't wana dwell on it anymore. Times gona heal everything, i believe i can still move on, Goodbye.

I'm sorry, i forgot i only exists to you when you need something. @dailyteen.

Liling Happypill.
Hello my dearest sweetheart, You've been a awesome sister that stands on my side no matter what happen & im srsly super grateful to you. Now that you're feeling upset, i don't know what to say or do to cheer you up. But dear, i don't like seeing you in your current states. I wana see the happy you. So get back to your real self soon okay ! My shoulders & my ears are always here for you. I love you ♥♥

@9.51pm.

Lost.

" He ask me If i love him. "

Hello readers! His words srsly make me wonder all night.


Having trouble sleeping i swear, im sleepy but i can't seems to sleep ._. But around 4.30am i manage to force myself to sleep :):) Woke up @ 1pm+ but nua on bed & fall asleep again and woke up again @ 3pm. On the same time, sister got back home from tampinese with mum to get her sickening watch ._. So discussing with her where to go. Decided to go meet wenjun (hehe) , so got sister to accompany me. Cab to his house & slack2. Around evening, get scolding from wenjun's mum -_- for some reasons but after that, we joke around etc. Haha, then went rounding with wenjun & sister with his electric bike. Haha, sister had a bad day today i swear :\:\ Rounding awhile then cab home. Hsh around 9pm+. Watch teevee & had late dinner. Currently watching youtube video's with brother. Gona audition with wenlong later :):)

@11.55pm.

Guess you're outta luck.

I misses him till i don't know how to put it in words anymore.

Hello readers! I was fine before he walked into my life, Now he made me speechless for how much i misses/loves him.


Slept @ 4.30 last night, watching dvd again & again -_-. Woke up @ 2pm+, lunch & then went to bathe and change. Went to jeremychang's house to meet kristy & jeremy. Not long, went to bus over to bedok, After reporting bus back to jeremychang house slack2. Around 6pm+, Theodora precious & huishan came & slack alittle while. Hsh around 7pm+. Argh, fuck my moood. :(:(



I hate it when parents says " no " but no reason. - @dailyteen

Moody.

Hello readers! I dont know how to smile anymore.

Woke up @ 1pm + , nua on bed till 2 + then went to bathe & had lunch. Use computer awhile had a sacastic talk with mum ._. dont know whats wrong also. Around 3 pm + , went down to meet marcus then went to central then cab to wenjun's house slack. Slack etc till 8, He send me home by his electric bike. Hsh around 8 +. Im feeling so moody that i didnt talk much today & wenjun say im weird today :(:( But kinda happy when he had my hand place around him & he say his cold & he wants my hug ! ^^v Short post today, feeling so ....... -_- now.

I dont know when can i meet him again, sighs :( Mum & dad don't blame me because i didn't manage to get into ite. Blame ite course. :(

Thanks Wenjun for trying to cheer me up today ! ^^v.

He said his sad when he see me upset, He said he don't want me to be like this because it make his heartache. (Heartmelted)

@10.13pm

I ain't here for your entertainment.

Hello darlings! Im worried,Im afraid,Im going to lost you someday.

"Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you,
but you meant nothing to him."

9th, Sister woke me up @ 1pm+ to accompany her to tm to Supercut to cut her fringe. So went to bathe & stuffs, cab over to tm to have her hair cut. After that, shop for alittle while & then decided to go stalk people ^^v. Went there, was afraid to be seen by him but @ the same time was hoping to see him. (LOL) So, manage to saw him from far with his friends, Not bad ah. A small achievement. Went to hse area 7-11 to meet kristy sanrio & jeremy chang with sister. KristySanrio bring down her new brought camera & took plenty of pix with her camera. Haha :$:$ Sister went home first then JeremyChang went off @ around 7pm+. Continue slacking for alittle while. Hsh around 8+.

- - -

"Should i smile because you're my friend or cry
because that's all we'll ever be?"

10th, Woke up @ 10.30pm. Was suppose to meet wenjun then go coral tgt, but didn't went again ._. he have to go to ite for his orientation. So, went to theodora precious house slack awhile before heading to coral to meet sist & co. Around 1pm+, bus over to coral. Met sist, darren, jingheng, Nigel then went to a blk to slack. Soon shaun, brother, Sam, Guoyi & etc came. Slack alittle while all spilt. Bus over to triple four meet Jeremychang, Kristysanrio, Ebenezer & Jiawei. Had our lunch there before heading to prp to slack with jeremychang & kristysanrio. It was drizzling & thought no big deal. Slack alittle while, wenjun came over to find me with his electric bike & its raining heavily & his kinda drenched :(:( even thought he had his umberalla ._. So slack alittle while, JeremyChang had to go, Wenjun lent them his umberalla so that they could slowly walk out of prp to take bus. So wenjun was riding me under the rain around prp then went to tamp to collect his pants. Went to a park to dry ourself cause im feeling super duper cold & his so sweet to give me warm tight hug & told me he don't wana me to fall sick. (Heart melted, hehe) So yeah, still feeling cold so he hurried ride back home so that i could dry myself @ his house. Manage to dry my hair but not my cloths, lucky me bring along a extra pant so change over to the pant & he borrowed me one of his cloths (Y)(Y) hurry cab home to bathe before i really fall sick. Hsh around 10+. Around 11+ , webcam with wenjun. Omfg i swear his so fucking cute :\:\

- - -

Tears are dripping,Heart are breaking.

11th, Today woke up to check my ite appeal result & guess what ? It's unsuccessful, fucking shit i swear. Super pissedoff :@:@ Have to wait for april intake already. I want to go school, i want to study, i don't want to work ! :(:( Went to bathe & change then went off to bedok to report as usual. Bus over & then bus back home. Hsh. Now posting, Immm so bored. His shirt His smell. hehehe.

im not suppose to love you, im not suppose to care, im not suppose to live my life hoping you were there. Im not suppose to wonder where you are or what you're doing, but i can't help it, cause im in love with you ♥♥.

@6.10pm.