Idon'tknowwhattopost.

Skipped 25th , 26th , 27th , 28th , 29th post. Lazylazylazy :(
Rotting at home today, (Y) Blackshot. Ciaoszxc.

Gotta pretend that i don't give a dam.

Hello readers, i'm super sorry for neglecting my blog since april 16th. I'm just too lazy to touch my computer, don't have any inspiration either. I'm sick and tired of my blogskin and is also a reason why i don't wana update my site. hehehe. Since i'm in school and i don't wana listern to what so I'll just post whatever thing i can remember the past few days eh ! Hopefully school internet connection don't go down out of the sudden. :(

18th - 21th april is school days obviously. Had so much fun in school with my awesome entertaining classmates. Going home late almost everyday , Either class late or went to lepak with classmate. Hahaha, talk cock sing song and stuffs. 22th is good friday ! which mean i've extra day to go out ! ^^ On the 21th april, end school around 5pm+. Went to catch "Scream4" with sister at ehub, 7pm++ movie. Rate it 4/5! Walk home with sister after movie, play with lazer while walking home, disturbing random people. Fun max, met daryl and amos under blk. Talk cock for alittle while and hsh.

22th april , Sentosa with Zhilin, Michael & mika. Woke up around 9am +, get prepared and then went to bus/train to harbour front. On the way to meet them, recieved a text from luvs. I completely forgot about i've to meet him actually. So went to sentosa with zhilin,michael & mika for alittle while. Left them around 4pm, ohmygawd. I feel super bad about pangseh-ing them, Fml. :( Cab to meet luvs and then slackslack talkdeek and stuff. Riding at pasir ris park ^^. Hsh around 10pm+

23th april , woke up at 10am + went to get prepared and train over to boonlay to meet boyfriend. Boyfriend is still sleeping when i reached, so slack alittle while before going up to boyfriend house. Slept at boyfriend house , Woke up at about 4pm and went to gekpo awhile to walk around alone. Reallly have to think about alot of things :( Around 5pm+ , went back to boyfriend house to have dinner. After dinner, boyfriend friends came ~ Around 9pm+ , went to play lan ! :D Cab back home around 10.30+ , Hsh around 11pm+. :)

24th april , Family day ! Woke up around 3pm+ , went to get prepared and left to queensway shopping centre to shopshop. Bought addias jacket, iphone cover , change screenprotector and a sanrio pouch ! ^^ After that , headed to parkway parade to collect brother's crocs shoes, then went to taiwan porridge to have dinner ! Hsh around 9pm+ ! :)

Update again later when i'm back home ! (k) I love my boyfriend.

I love my crazy boyfriend.

Hello readers! I'm sorry for not updating my site for the past 3 days, too tired to touch my computer. Shall do a short and quick post for the past 3 days. School's boring but i'd so much fun with my classmate during break time and during lesson. My classmate made the whole lesson interesting instead of the teacher. HAHAHA.

Fridayfridayfriday!!(15/04) , End class at 10.30am. Bb came to pick up from school ! (Y) Slack with zhilin, daniel, victoria and shanice outside school with bb. Slackslack , and then headed back to pasir ris with bb. Slack2 with romi then train to dhoby ghaut to meet bb's friend , Hexuan and mingbing. Went to cathay and catch "limitless" , bb and hexuan is watching the second time ! H3h3h3. Rate it 4/5 ! And oh my fucking god, is the first time i'm watching movie with bb ! ^^ After movie , headed to have our dinner at a chicken rice shop. Then walk around bugis then hsh around 11pm. :)

Today(16/04) , Woke up at 9.30am went to prepare and then train to bb house. Waited outside bb house doing nothing till 1pm+ when the rain has stop then went in to bb house. Don't wana disturb bb's handsome sleep ^^ I'm so awesome, ikr! (LOL). Rot at bb house then mingbing came over to bb house, bb and mingbing keep psp-ing ! :@ So i'm like so bored, and fall asleep beside bb ! Hehehehe, woke up at 6.30pm+. they still psp-ing !!!!!!!! K, so rot rot rot ~ Around 9pm+, bb friendSSSSS came. Went downstair blk with bb with my first monthsary cake for bb, ate that cake with bb. Hehehe, bb finish the entire cake omfg. (Y) Then hsh around 11. K bye.

Is things getting better, or am i still forcing myself to think positive and not care about whats going on already. @11.50pm.

She gets more attention from you than i do.

Hello readers! Didn't manage to update my site yesterday(11/04), due to my first day of school and i'm feeling super tired and sleepy ! Hehehehe, Wanted to stay awake till 12am and wish bb a firstmonthsary text but end up fall asleeping and waking up again at 1am+ :( Sighs! First day of school is so boring, felt so lost don't know where the fuck am i suppose to go to. Realise that one of my friend,kenny are studying at the same campus as me, hurried text him and ask him to guide me along. Hehehehe. Kenny helped me find my class and stuffs. Met my new classmates and my teacher, classmate are like so anti-social and unfriendly kind of looking, k im actually one too. HAHA LOL! Listern to Rules rules and rules :( So bored, hahahaha. After my lunch break, went to assemble and then one of my classamate came and say hi to me. Omfg, so shy ! ^^ Hehehe. Her name is Zhilin and she's my first new friend in ite ^^ Muhahaha. Ended first school at 3pm + , Train back home ~ Reached home, didn't bath and immediately toh on my sofa. Hehehe, im just too tired, can't help it ! :$ Woke up again at 8pm+ then went to bath and then text with bb. Text and fall asleep. So yeah, Happy first monthsary baby, I really hope to continue counting days,months,years with you. I wana walk this road with you as far as possible, thanks for giving in to me, thanks for tolerating, thanks for understanding and thanks for the chance. Sorry for whatever things that upset you :( I love you. Today(12/04), Woke up at around 8am+, went to prepared and then went to bedok hq to report then went to had breakfast, Daddy send me to school. Hehehehe, hear teacher talk cock sing song as usual. Went to lepak with zhilin after that during our lunch break, then met another new friend, daniel ! But his kinda anti-social, so didn't spoke much after that. LOL. After lunch break, hear talks again :@ hehehe. around 2pm went to tamp ite, walk around with zhilin and friends. Around 4pm, ended school being relieve from school at tamp. Cab to meet romi , carl & co. Slack alittle while, hsh ! Dinner, tv then went to loyang point prints picture :D:D idk what to say already, k bye. I love my boyfriend. (K) FUCK THE BLOGGER SPACING :@ CB. WHATEVER LAH. @11.03pm

I need a doctor to cure my heartache.

Hello, Today post will abit cockup cause i'm feeling super confused and lost right now. I think i'll be typing nonsense and no link stuffs and don't even know it. Hahahahaha ! K whatever. Tomorrow is my first day of school and also me and bb's one monthsary. I'm not excited about school at all, time passes so dam fast. So much things happened in this few days and school is starting, what the fuck. I haven't do finish what i wana do yet.. Actually i don't even know what is the thing i have not done. :(

Skip yesterday post cause i'm too tired and too upset to do anything. So i shall update now, Before sleeping, had alot heart to heart chat with bb. Woke up at 8am+ , prepared and headed to malaysia. Went to window shopping with family and parents friend, then went to sing kbox. Wow, malaysia kbox is epic nice lah ! (Y)(Y) Drank alittle bit, sang alot of song like really sing my heart out that kind. Hahaha, imm missing bb so much. heheh. Reach sg around 8pm+, Fall asleep at dad's car. Reached home, too lazy to go bath so went to lie on sofa texting with bb. Then went to bath then nua at bed. Had heart to heart talk with bb again, and he nearly give up. Fuck, i don't wana talk about it already. Slept around 4am+.

Today, ask mummy to wake me up @ 9.30am but she didn't. Was super pissed off lah, then hurry went to prepared and then write a two full page fullscape for bb. :) Ask sister to accompany me to tamp to do diy cake for bb. :) After that, went to roft top slack, heart to heart talk with sister. Then went to accompany sister to lunch, didn't eat anything the whole day but i don't feel hungry at all. Went to find Koi bubbletea shop around tamp, found and bought what bb mentioned to me once that he wanted to drink that. Haha. Bb was suppose to meet me at tamp today , but in the end bb says his friends would be coming and ask to meet up at bugis. Threw away the bubble tea and After that, sister went home and then train over to iluma wait for bb at around 4pm+? Waited for quite sometime at iluma for bb, then bb came around 5pm+ :). Hardly talk , because i scare i might say something wrong. Hahaha !

Watch bb and his friend play jubeat, then around 7.15pm bb and his friend went to watch movie and made my way back home, took a longer time to reach home because i wana be alone, hehehe. Hsh,bathe& now using computer. nothing much to say already :) Hehehehe. Shall sleep after 12 eh, so i can wish bb happy firstmonthsary on the dot ^^

Something are better to be left unsaid ! Sometime being alone isn't really a bad thing uhs :)

@10.40pm.

Give me time, and i promise i'll make it right again..

I'm sorry for everything,

I brought it upon myself, im to blame.

Hello, today was a super terrible day but afterall, bb still made it better at the end of the day. Today post will be kind of dramatic but to me , it's a lesson learnt. I kept crying ever since i met bb. Bb didn't said anything neither did he even show me alittle bit of that corcern. So my tears just couldn't stop flowing down because i can sense it's gona be the end of everything. I shall start posting about it from the start of everything.

Today midnight, the feeling was already there but both of us choose to keep quiet about it and hoping things would get better after that. Slept for only 4hours and woke up at 8am+, train to boonlay to meet bb. On the train, carrying a smile hoping everything would be alright later on and bb will be able to help me get rid of those feelings i'm having.

.

Met bb and we hardly talk, all i was doing is crying beside bb. Hoping bb would show me alittle bit of that corcern, but never did i expect. All he do was sleep , and completely ignore me. Was feeling so sour, and i really want to cry out at that point of time. So while crying silently, Reyne brother called me telling me about his problem and i couldn't help it and i started crying non-stop and tell him i'm feeling the same way as what he is feeling. Had a short talk , and i decided to hang the phone and be alone.

.

Decided to talk to bb about what's going on between us. He claim that it was me who is thinking too much, maybe i really did. Stop chatting for alittle while, continue crying. I can't really remember what happen in between after that. Skipskip, somwhow, bb finally told me what is he thinking , and he told me his feeling faded and is indirectly asking me a breakup because he thinks that it's unfair for me.

.

Left bb for alittle while, hoping bb would come and look for me. Expectation leads to disappointment. Bb didn't came to look for me afterall, was alone crying like a idiot at the void deck. I really wanted to leave, but i'm afraid i'll regret. So called bb up and talk to him again about what's going on and what should we do about it. All he said was "i don't know" . Junlong called me, rant everything to him and really cried non-stop.

After that, headed back to bb's home and talk to bb about it again, we had countless talk and at the end of it. Bb told me he wants a breakup , at the point of time i really went crazy and don't know what to do to salvage this relationship because bb gave me that kind of feeling that he don't love me anymore and nothing gona change the awful fact anymore. I really did thought of letting go and giving up. But thinking back about the awesome time we had together really gives me a very bad heartache.

.

Still, manage to get bb out and had a talk again with bb. Hoping bb would give me a chance to mend everything that i've done wrong. Intend to have a time out after that, but somehow we manage to patch things back but it's going to be in a slow and steady way and it's gona be really difficult to get back the same old feeling. Things get slightly better while chatting with bb and i'd a super bad gastric pain because i didn't ate anything at all. Bb mum made me hot milo and it feel so much better. Chitchat with bb and bb's friend, everything seems to be back to what it is but is that the case ? I really don't know. I don't wana think about it also, just gona let things be what it is.

All i know now is i've learnt my lesson and i finally know what bb is feeling all the long. I should have trusted bb and stop thinking negatively, but i believe all this im feeling because i really am afraid to lose bb without knowing what's going on. So yesh, now all i've to do is get back bb's feeling .

Fuck lah, i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about anymore. I've lost track about what i wana say. I've finally realise how important bb is to me right now, but it's too late now. Really regretted not treasuring bb from the start. I'm just too afraid to get hurt again most probably thats why i tend not to get too devoted in this relationship. I'm sorry.

I'm really trying my best not to think the negative way and closing one eye about the way bb is treating me now. All i can hope is, things would get better each day, our one monthsary is coming in 2more days. :) Hahaha!

.

Wil be going to malaysia for a one day trip with family tomorrow. Guess i'm just gona take this time and think about what i should do and maybe also a time for us to really think about what we should really do.

I let my boyfriend see the weakest part of me today. Perhaps , i can't give him the future, but i hope i can give him a awesome memories in the future. :) I love you bb, i'm sorry and thanks.

@ 11.50pm.

You attracts me in everythings you do.

Hello, Skip yesterday post because i'm just to tired to touch my computer. Wednesday(06/04), which is yesterday. Woke up at 7am, and accompany my parents to clean grandma's grave, went to have breakfast then headed home.

Auditionsea alittle while, (k) then went to bath and get prepared. Train over to city hall to meet bb. I think i made bb waited for half an hour+ ? K, i'm so sorry ! :( Train over to boonkeng then bus over to sky lan to meet nicole darling. Talk deek, chitchat and stuff. Met yuki, Baichi , hahahaha. Was shocked to hear from nicole darling that yuki is working at there too.

So disturb him because he got no idea who am i actually. Hehehehehe. After that, darling ended work, accompany darling and bb to have their lunch. Then darling help yuki to buy his lunch , scare him with my fake cockroaches! (y) Hehehe. Rot at that till 8pm, some cockup incident happen really piss me off. I'm so out of control :@ K, so went to walk around with darling and bb. Went to buy my stuffs then cab back to my house area with bb, slack and talk deek. Then bb send home at 10.20pm+. Intend to wait for bb to reach home then sleep, end up fall asleep while watching television.

Today(07/04), woke up twice because of nightmares, terrible nightmares i swear. First nightmare wake me up at 12pm, first nightmare was about bb betraying me. What the fuck, i've been having this kind of nightmare ever since i'm with bb. :@ This is making me so worried. So fall back to sleep and had my second nightmare! Second nightmare wake me up @ 3pm+, it was about my irrating cute brother getting wack by people , and it's by my friend ! Fuck right ? I don't know what weird dream is this, but it made me really super scare.

Told my brother about my this nightmare, and he immediately says " what the fuck!? " hahaha, yah super what the fuck. K , went to washup and have my lunch while texting with bb. Bb is going to find a job with his friends and his running all over singapore, going from places to places ! ._. I'm so bored that i've to entertain myself with a game called ' The Sim 3 ' HAHAHA. (k) Played until i forget to see the time ~ It's already 8pm+ , went to watch tv with sister. Cannot wait to meet bb tomorrow ! I love you , dog.

I'm used to it, I'm used to waiting, I'm used to lonely nights ~

@11.07pm.

I can't explain my love for you.

Hello, omfg school is starting like real soon! Excited max i swear, i'd 7months of holiday already and life is getting so boring each day. Always stressing about where to go and what to do. hehehe. I feel so happy for myself, rofl !

I want rant about how long i waited to report to bedok hq today. Reporting 2nd shift is 2.30pm- 4.15pm , so i went for the 2nd shift one. Reached there 2.30pm sharp, met shaun at cnb's door step. We waited for about 45mins then the officers willing to open the dam door, wtf right !!! And he still scolded us for nothing, I'm so fucking pissed off. :@ Dad have to rush to somewhere else, so i've to go home by myself.

But... Shaun dad drove me home, hehehe. Awesome ah ! ^^ And shaun is a deek :@ LOL. Reached home about 4pm . Used computer all the way, editing skins. Useless blog actually, doing it for the sake of fun. ^^ Doing half way, bb finally willing to wake up ._. , text text with bb. hehehehe, nothing much to post already ~ Meeting kiyumi darling and bb tomorrow. (k) I love you , dearest boyfriend.

> To who it might corcern, i don't live to tolerate your sickening attitude. Fuckyou.

@6.38pm.

I never thought that i would love you so much.

Hello, I got a fuckup boyfriend. You know why? Because his being such a deek, asking me to rest early because he thinks i don't get enough sleep and i look super old. What the fuck right ?!?! His complaining that i look old now! Argh x10. So... actually the actual reason why he is asking me to sleep early is because he wants to sleep, sleep sleep sleep always sleeping one. Angry max la. :@

Basically, i spend my day as per normal but alittle bit of awesome-ness because bb is with me. Woke up at 11am+, to wake bb up so he can get prepared and come over and meet me. He took his god dam sweet time to prepared, and he reached around 2pm+ under my blk. Went down to meet bb then headed to mini-mart slack alittle while then cab over to luvs house slackslack with luvs and bb. Luvs went out to do his stuff, around 5pm+, luvs came back. Slack talk deek and etc, standard one lah actually.

Around 9pm+, luvs went to buy birthday cake to celebrate his uncle's birthday. Then cab over to my house area with bb, slack and talk deek. Bb send me home. (k) I love you, uncle boon. Bet bb hates coming out with me already, because i kept going to the same old place doing the same old thing. hehehehe. But his sucha awesome boyfriend and he didn't rant anything about it.

Omfg, i can't believe i said something that i thought i wouldn't say forever to bb. Thanks bb for understanding and being there for me but not leaving me alone to face it. Hoping to see you soon again bb. And omfg, awesome me help bb and kiyumi darling to edit their blogskin. hehehehehehe. Not logging into formspring for two days and i have 140 questions to answer la! But i'm just too lazy to, so i'm just gona answer all those question as and when i'm free. Ya, i'm trying to show off now. Rofl !!!!

Our one monthsary is coming like real sooooooon la !! My school is starting soon also, and sadly our one monthsary falls on my first day of school, Sad max. Hehehehe, i realise i haven't been bloghoping friends blog recently but always bloghop to bb's blog(lol) , cause i love his blog hehehe. K byeeeeee, shall log in to auditionsea asap.

@11.15pm.

Everytime i whisper your name, Your smile and your images would appears on my mind.

Hello, today is a super boring day. Wait for bb to wake up at 5.15am then went to sleep , woke up at 3pm+. Went to get prepared and stuff and headed to hospital to visit grandfather with family. Around 6.20pm, went to ecp to have dinner, meet tammychloe at ecp mac and then went to have our dinner at TungLok restraunt.

After our dinner, send tammychloe back home then hsh. My piggy bb is still asleep and i didn't wana wake him up from his stupid sleep. :@ Edit blogskin for the sake of killing time while waiting for bb's text. bb woke up @ 9m+, text with bb and etc. Aiyaaaaaa, it's a boring day with a boring post. (Y). I love my boyfriend. Meeting bb tomorrow ^^ excited max. Hopefully, we'll be watching movie lah, everytime say want to watch. End up to lazy to watch and don't know what to watch. Hahahaha. K bye, Imm gona go blackshot and pwns that jayden doggie :@ Loser is tortise ! ^^

@11.11pm - I want everything to be perfect.

Live for the journey, not the destination.

( I just love the way you hug me from the back. )

Hello, i hate myself when i keep thinking of negative stuff and it made me really lost all my confidence. My tears flow down whenever i think about it, because bb is acting as if he doesn't bother about any things. Another thing is, i'd a nightmare about bb doesn't love me anymore. Woke up at 12pm+ , texted luvs then went to prepare and cab to luvs hse at 1pm+. Bb is still sleeping like standard only. So i keep thinking he doesn't want to meet me because he doesn't love me anymore. (Ikr, fuck myself.) K, bb woke up and went to get prepared and cab over to luvs house, :( . And the cab fare is really..epic. $30+. . Cried infront of bb while hearing to song's. Didn't talk to bb at all at the starting, only after when im feeling much better so i spoke to bb. His a sweet talk mother fucker, he made me forget about all the negative thooughts im having. Luvs ride me and bb go rounding , slackslack at prp. Chitchat talk deek. Had a fun time with bb, i like it when bb hug me from the back. (Y) Hahahahahaha! K, so luvs drop us at white sand and then he went home, walk over to downtown east with bb. Went to buy drinks and cotton candy ^^, went to a random blk slack alittle while then walk home with bb. ^^ Reached home around 10pm+, text text with baby like non-stop. . I hate Dota because Dota snatch my boyfriend away from me :@ hehehe. Bb couldn't stop spamming 'i love you' to me , i bet his running out of topic to talk to me thats why. HAHAHA. . Sweet talk mother fucker, i love you. I love you for who you're. I love you because you kept me entertained. I love you because you never failed to make me feel loved by you. I love you because you love me for who i am. I love you for every single things you do.

我要道歉的是我卻必須說再見.

Hello! You know what, i srsly hate what imm always feeling which is currently what im feeling lah. Im feeling super lost and i srsly dk what to do about it. I really don't wana think about it. Im feeling so uncomfortable now, i don't know who to talk to because i don't know where to start and how to start. (Don't ask me what it is, cause i'll not say) There's so many things going thru my brain right now. I want it to be the best solution but i don't know which is the best. Fuck, i don't know what i'm talking about already.

Few days back, was either home or luvs house. Today, HAPPY APRIL FOOL! Slept like 5am+ and woke up at 9am, went to prepare and stuff. Talk cock with mum then headed to take a 58min train ride to meet bb. Was intending to reach bb's house at 11 sharp but end up i reach bb house around 12. :@ K, so slack at bb's house, talk deek singsong. bb and his mum quarrel like epic only. Hahahaha, my bb is so rude lah. Around 5pm, went to take away dinner with bb for bb's family. Hsh around 10pm+. I had a awesome day with bb today, actually is whenever im able to meet bb i enjoy myself ^^

If i were to leave one day, is not because i don't luv you anymore. It's because i let you down.