I'm sorry that i loved you.

Just let me speak the last words and i promise i'll leave with no regrets.
(This post isn't really a important one, so don't have to waste your time reading if it doesn't corcern you,Sorry. just ranting my feelings.)

One of our epic conversation ! (K)
(click to enlarge)
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I'm starting to get paranoid easily because i don't wana lose you without knowing. I can't really tell you how i felt inside but i really wish you didn't left or maybe all this thing didn't happen at all. And we're still quarreling every second that kind of relationship. I failed to act dumb, i lost control and eventually rant everything to you about how jealous i am and etc. You told me you love me, and you said you're born to love me yet the very next day you're saying goodbye to me. I don't know what the fuck went wrong, or maybe should i say you finally realise who you really wants.(Since it's actually the both of us) At the starting, when i knew abt it i kept on pushing you away because i can sense happiness whenever you spoke to her.(dont deny this fact) and you really enjoy speaking to her.(Which is now the fact that you're showing me).

Last night, was craps. I was just jealous , so so so so so jealous. I know she's joking but fuck, im still jealous. Imm just trying to get back to you. And sad thing to hear was, your feeling faded before asking what the fuck i did that for. So now i know how much is your luv for me. I made the wrong step, i should have just confess to you how jealous i was. But why can't you just sense or see i'd turn moodless. You've been wispering to her , ain't you ? :) Arghhhhh, FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! :@

I knew you on the 02 March thru a conference at night. Texted you with my number at 5.51am, and we started our conversation and didn't stop ever since 02march. First impression of you was... you're super unfriendly & anti-social. You just don't seems to really like talking much to new people. You ss-ed a picture trying to show me my name with a alibaba emoji. And also from that day started, i think you're interested in *her. I confronted you, you told me you didn't, you treated her that way because she owe's you something. You said the way i text is super fast and that's our first arguement about who texted faster.

I late replied your text for fucking long on the 03March. And when i replied you, your reaction was " lol? WTF, so long ago LOL." and you told me you were having moodswing but you ain't willing to tell me whats the reason because you doesn't know why either. And we chatted about iphone jailbreak topic. Eventually, we started to hit off we started to joke around and i no longer feel you doesn't wana speak to me (Y) Oh hahaha ! And i send you my middle finger picture ! That's the very first pictureeeeee i mms-ed you ! We started mms each other pictures of ourself & nonsense pix. (LOL) And you scolded me a noob because i doesn't know where to change the fake operator thingy and you mms me the way ~ ^^ And thats when you started calling me hantu ! (K)

Hahaahah! On the 04March, you kept asking me abt her and i was like "Fck lah, i look like her mother ah, keep herherher." And you said it was MOMO DE AI , because i insist of giving you her contact but you doesn't want it . It's also the first time we solo talk to each other ~~~~~~~~ on the phone ! :):) We hanged the phone around 6.33am. Hahaha, we argure half way and i fall asleep and you thought i was emo-ing ~ And you sent me three text scolding me ! (Y) The next day, you send me a goodmorning with _l_. What a good morning. HAHA. I complain about how often you used the toilet and you said there's no wrong in it. lol~ Another arguement ~ I bored outside so decided to text you, i was at farmway that day and you said im gona fall into the pond and the prawns are gona poke me. :@:@ And you curse me to get alot of mosquito bites. What a meanie person are you uh ! Haha.. We started the 3Pack for $2 thingy because you said you were sad. LOL. And you said what else am i capable of excludding bullying you. (That is loving you !) You mention that you & her have no fate and i just suddenly have this soursour feeling whenever you mention her.

On the 05March, we started argueing abt fucking ourself with legs chair / bananas or whatever. HAHA. Epic joke. And once again, you're telling me abt you & her arguement at fb. I told you i ain't bullying you infact im actually entertaining you and you said it is kinda entertaining and you thanked me ! (Y) Ohhhhhh, you claim that im your "Kaobai" Match ! Because we luv kaobai-ing each other without fail . We started chatting abt my previous ex cpl ~ And his dam fail, rememeber ?! ^^ I told you i broke off with him and you said i'm such a bad person. Told you that his a super sensitive person and you said that if you were my boyf you will be super jealous too. Cause i buay zi dong! :@:@ We argue argue argue and argue. We can even argue about the song we're listerning ._. HAHA, You kup my phone and i was pissed. You promised me you won't kup my phone anymore. Butttttttttttt , i can't get pissed with you for long ~ So i told you i was joking and you said im cheating your feeling :@ Hahaha, You late replied my text and you was so ji dong and can't stop apologizing to me :$ AND YOU SAY YOU WOULD CPL ME IF I GO AUDITION TO ACCOMPANY YOU! (Y) hahahaha, but we all know it was a joke, so clever me didn't went (Y)

On the same day,05march. You kept on apologizing to me non-stop for nothing. I don't what's wrong with you and im so fucking pissed off with you apologizing to me. :@ You said you apologise cause you were shag. No link but yeah you still dont wana tell me whats the reason why you're shag. So didn't really continue asking you whats wrong. Accompanied you audi, and fuck i dc-ed & You claim that i lied to you about my internet connection lost :( Hahaha... You srsly can't stop apologizing to me that day... " Sorry sara, wo bu shi gu yi de :( Sorry. Dui bu qi " And i was like , wtf went wrong ? But not long, we started to argue again ._.

06March, you told me you were busy liking her fb comments. And dam ~ That feeling came again. Argueeeee as usual, Skipskip.

07March, A day when i finally realise i'd already fallen for you , Because of rm 1. That feeling was super...... epic. I jitao no mood ~ & that day that we confessed our feeling out. You took a really long time to do so, and i already knew what are you gona say ._. And you were texting me with alot of vinegar because i was conferencing that day (Y) And you scolded me for posting dumb post and ask me to go to bed cause it's 6am already. The way we're talking is getting so weird after since we confessed. Because of those dumb post im posting , you told me that all this confess thingy was a joke. I break down immediately. So i didn't really wana show out my emotions , so i act as if i don't give a fuck. And we continue argueing. Hahaha, we added each other on msn on this day itself too ~ So fun chatting. We stopped texting and i texted you first eventually ._________. And you said you were waiting for my text (Y) Argh, happy max. You said you did left me a offline message on my msn , but i didn;t recieved it :( You're begging me to online !! hahahaha \m/ You said you're jealous !!!!!!! omfg, you're jealous because of me ! Hehehehehe !

08March, Our one day fairytale story ~ ^^ We were super effing sweeeeeet. Feel so loved by you, and i srsly love you. And you gave me a new name with alot emoji with it ! And your fake operator !!! (L)Sara.thhantu! Hahaha :$ You claim that only a few of your contacts have emoji at the side of their name , didn't believed and you ss-ed for me to see. You can't stop explaining abt those people with emoji by the side of their name, like a cute . :$ And you say you have to explain first or else im gona ignore you ~ Hello ! Im not so sensitive ok !! I really luv it when you said " luvluv you " or " luvyou lah cheebong " ! Hahaha.. We started mms-ing each other about who we're contacting and what are the details we are talking. Ohya, we had the same battary when we mms each other those pic ! (Y) Okay, imm gona skip those part because we're just argue-ing ._. Yah, and that's how we commiunicate by argue-ing ! :D You told me you were upset and somethings i did. I'm sorry that i hurt you :( That's the fucking first time you send me a fucking long goodnight message and thats the fucking last time uh ~

On the 9th march, midnight. Our fairytale story is about to end already, we didn't confront neither did we confessed. We both just acted dumb and hoping things to be alright. Unfortunetly , it didnt work out. It still ended. You and her happiness ~ I can see it. Goodluck & all the best.

I'm sorry, i no longer have the rights or ability to tell you i love you. Sigh, i just hate being treated like you don't even care. if you really don't care then just tell me. No matter how harsh it could be,i'll just accept it. I guess i can no longer bring back your heart. Let's just remain as what it is then. I'd cried the whole night, Im so fucking tired yet i wake up every 3hours just to check my phone, and also awake from nightmares. Whenever i close my eye, images of you & her just never fail to pop up.. So hurting. Hahaah! It isn't your problem, guess its just mine own problem. I'll learn to let go eventually ~ Hohoho. Awesome 1day fairytale ! (Y)

Hantu wants bapok to know, hantu really loved him.